Choose Kindness

When was the last time you paused in your judgement of someone, to acknowledge their hard work and efforts within the workplace? When was the last time you went out of your way to say ‘thank you’ to your manager for an interesting project? When was the last time you sent an email to someone in a position of power, positively commending a junior colleagues efforts?

I’m guessing, not very often.

Why is this? People tend to spend more time focusing on what is going wrong than what is going right within the workplace; quick to label and find fault in others.

Labels help people make sense of things e.g. ‘she/he is a high performer, always hitting the mark every time’ versus ‘she'/he is a bit slow and needs a bit of handholding’ and navigate social interactions. However, said opinions are often subjective and influenced by one’s own social schema of the world.

Furthermore, in a fast-paced climate, everyone wants quick wins, forgetting that learning and failure are part of the process too. Sometimes, things going wrong can leave room for greater growth and success. Forgetting to see others as humans (with emotions and feelings) can create an ethos of disconnect and stress across the team and/or organisation, with individuals feeling unheard or seen; negatively exacerbating psychological safety.

So I invite you, the next time you’re agitated by someone at work or finding yourself quick to judge, to pause and meet someone with curiosity; to give empathy and to reflect on a time when he/she went out of their way to do something for you. To ask yourself, when was the last time I appreciated them and said ‘thank you’. Is it possible that they’re going through something that is impacting their attitude and/or work performance? Is this their first time working on such a project? Can I offer help or a gentle listening ear?

Sometimes pausing and choosing to see people through a lens of the heart (and not logic) can go a long way. Try it, once in a while, and see the domino effect of positivity it has on those around you. It costs nothing to choose kindness but means everything to the person on the receiving end.

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What I’ve learnt through research